Yesterday, 445pm -

I called to my company’s agency to check on my paycheck status. Stupidly that for these few days as I went back for my handover task, I hav to go thru a third party to handle my pay. Till now, I still dont understand why. I called last Thursday and SHE says SHE will check her faxes and let me know if SHE hav receives them.

SHE: Who is this?

ME: Celine

SHE: Are you a client?

ME: No, Im Celine from xxxxx company to check on the status……

SHE: (angry tone) Celine who? Who Celine? I hav so many Celine u know?!!?!!

ME: (give her my chinese name)

SHE: (angry tone x 5) you know wat, can you please call during office hours?? I’m driving now and I’m out for meeting you know?!?! How to check for u??

ME: (angry mode) (half-shouting since her car engine is so loud) THEN CAN U TELL ME WHAT’S UR OFFICE HOURS???

SHE: (angry tone x 10) 830 to 12pm!!

ME: FINE!

—

Today at 11am -

ME: (in my very unhappy tone) Can I speak to SHE?

SHE: (in a soft lighted tone) Yes? May I help you?

ME: I’m Celine xxxxxx from xxxxxx company. I’m calling to…….

SHE: (loud tone) OH! YA! U sent in on 1Sept, as on book, u will get ur pay on 22nd of this month OK.

ME: (strong tone) Hw abt the faxes from AUG?

SHE: (angry tone again) Yes Yes! I just saw it. OKAY, so these are the finals right?? No more right?? If no more then I will proceed! Give me ur bank account number.

And then she repeat after very very fast and jus can’t wait to hang off the phone from me. WTF?!!!

—

Last Week, I was kinda ‘forced’ by this RECRUITment agency consultant, Terence to go for an interview which I had told him like a thousand times that I won’t go for blah blah blah kinda of position.

I’m sorry probably I’m a little too head up now with the title of Executive and some sort of jobs I would not even want to take up ok.

Like wat? Like Receiptionist cum Admin Asst????

Even the company was really nice and the girl who chit chat with me was like:

“Errr…. with your positon and ur job duties from ur last company, why would u even want to come for this kind of job? Are u sure?”

ME: My agent didnt tell me upfront and be truthful to me that wat kind of job is this. He just tell me its a supporting role and sometimes mend the front desk awhile.

And of cos they sent me away say they be underusing my talent for this kind of job.

My boss let me choose to leave my job post as we just got staff who be fully incharge of some of the projects that I used to do. And she discussed with me properly that wat’s left be mostly like administrative and she feels tat I shouldnt stay in the office and do these kind of jobs. I shld go and explore more out there.

And this Terence wants me to go lower than what I’m currently doing?? Is he just trying to make me go down to hit his numbers of target to send the candidates? When I tell him I not going for it, then he nagged at me for a good 10mins the day before and made me feel guilty for his effort so I went. And for a job that he actually tell me only a half-story about.

I promise you, Terence, I will write your management a nice letter to compliment your mistake for the mismatch that you had done for me.

That morning, I left myself crying on the street.

I really haven get over with the blow I had the week before and here, he pushed me down even worse. I feel so stupid to waste my time, waste the other party time and waste my money on cab. I really feel sorry for myself.

—

Just as I keep pushing myself forward, I keep telling myself tmr is a better day and it will be all well eventually.

Just as I tried to force myself to step out of my house and give myself reason to start a better day, I booked for my body massage as my shoulder really hurts so badly.

I arrived at my appointment time, Saturday 345pm -

They told me tat my masuse will be late for me and they’ll arrange for another lady to do scrub and steambath first.

So after my steambath, I was left all alone in the room for a good 30mins.

Nobody came and check if I’m still alive in the room.

I changed and I took my own card and walked to the counter and let them know that I was left unattended for so long. And I don’t think I should wait anymore.

I found that whatever is happening to me was too amused. Too amused for me to get angry and scold them. I just keep saying “Its okay” when they keep apologise. I can’t believe myself.

—

Yesterday, 6pm -

As I was trying to nap away my unhappy conversation with SHE and trying to go over my head again and again what is wrong with me.

Then came an SMS.

I’m being “scolded” for something which I didn’t DO IT!

OMG!!

I seriously need a break ok! I don’t need to go thru the details here because I know you will be reading this and I don’t want to poke ur sensitive point and start the arguement and protesting again!

I’m having enough ENOUGH bad times ok! I really don’t need anymore of add on to make my life more interesting right now. Seriously. I really don’t need it.

I thanks to all the above who added colours to my life. I will live on.

I’m still trying hard to convince myself that everything will be over soon and I will be doing great.

I’m still pretending to be alright.

I’m still talking and laughing like normal, like any other days.

I’m still breathing and eating and sleeping like a human.

—

For those who wants to know the above mentioned agency, can jus SMS me. I promise that I wont bark or anything and I will reply u the text.

I am still fine because I am still sitting well and alive typing this blog post.